Can Your Biggest Heartbreak Become Your Greatest Ministry?

There are conversations that change you just by listening to them. This week's Coffee Chat episode is one of those conversations. Hosts Amber and Lisa welcomed Adrienne Story to discuss one of life's most challenging topics: grief, loss, and how God can transform our deepest pain into meaningful ministry.

When Grief Changes Everything

"When I lost a child, I have to honestly say that I experienced grief in such a way that I have never been the same. How I walk and talk is not the same. How I experience life is not the same." - Lisa

The conversation begins with a powerful distinction: while we all experience grief throughout life, there are certain losses that fundamentally alter who we are. Lisa shares about losing her son Noah at full term, Amber opens up about losing a baby at 17 weeks, and Adrienne courageously tells the stories of losing both Corey Jr. at 39.5 weeks due to sepsis, and later Miles at 37.5 weeks.

Adrienne's raw honesty about holding "death in her arms" twice and the unique grief that comes from losing children provides a window into experiences many suffer silently. Her vivid memories - like wanting to know what Corey Jr.'s eyes looked like and being told they looked just like hers - illustrate the profound details that stay with grieving parents.

The Things We Shouldn't Say

"Everything happens for a reason... That's probably the least helpful thing somebody could do." - Adrienne

One of the most valuable parts of this conversation addresses the well-meaning but often hurtful things people say to those who are grieving. The hosts discuss phrases like "God has his purpose" and "I know exactly what you're going through" that, while intended to comfort, can actually cause more pain.

Adrienne shares how her brother-in-law offered a more helpful perspective:

"Everything doesn't happen for a reason, but everything that happens matters." This reframing acknowledges the significance of loss without trying to wrap it in a neat explanatory bow.

What Actually Helps

"As somebody who's grieving, you just want to know that that person is remembered. You want people to recognize your child." - Adrienne

The conversation reveals what truly comforts those walking through loss: recognition, remembrance, and presence. Simple acts like texting about a song that reminds someone of the lost child or acknowledging their significance can mean the world to grieving parents.

From Heartbreak to Ministry

"I think it's silly as someone with faith and as a Christian, it's silly to think that if we do everything right, then nothing bad will happen because we forget about Jesus. He did everything right and still suffered." - Adrienne

Perhaps the most powerful part of the episode explores how deep personal loss can become a foundation for ministry. Adrienne now serves on the board of Solace Photography, an organization that provides professional photographs for families experiencing infant loss. This ministry arose directly from her own experience of loss and her understanding of how crucial it is for these brief lives to be remembered and honored.

The Reality of Resurrection

"Especially for those who follow Christ, there is a resurrection. There's something in our hearts that when something has been taken from us God can use it to help someone else... There's a resurrection of whatever has died, whatever has gone to the ground because this is just how God works when we give Him the most wounded places in our lives and allow Him to use it." - Amber

The conversation concludes with hope - not the superficial kind that minimizes pain, but the deep hope that comes from seeing God work through our darkest moments. All three women testify to experiencing God's presence in their grief and watching Him bring purpose from their pain.

Reflection Questions:

1. How has your understanding of grief changed through your own experiences or witnessing others' losses?

2. What are some practical ways you can better support friends or family members who are grieving?

3. Have you ever experienced God bringing purpose or ministry out of a painful season in your life?

4. How do you reconcile the reality of suffering with belief in a loving God?

5. What does it mean to you that "everything that happens matters" rather than "everything happens for a reason"?

This episode covers sensitive topics around infant loss and grief. If you're currently walking through loss, please know you're not alone. Resources and support are available.

Listen to the full episode on the Coffee Chat podcast below or wherever you get your podcasts, or watch on the Coffee Chat Ladies YouTube channel.

Also, check out Adrienne's appearances on the "Echoes of Impact" podcast for more of her story.